All the equal animals and other crap...

Maybe I'm just an asshole .....but I just can't force myself to lose any freaking sleep over sexual harassment ....

Sincerely.....I look you all in the eyes....and today I proudly announce...brethren..I giveth not a tiny little shit about it !

Dear friends....I offer you the following ....

Sexual harrasment is just another social device women have employed not to ensure equal rights.....but to ensure special ones...

In case you are unfamiliar with women....let me give a brief overview....

a woman is a cunning creature , who cleverest trick , like the devil , was to make you think her power didn't exist....so cunning is this parasite , that she will sit at home all day while you work hard , and actually manage to make YOU feel guilty about it ....

She's tough enough to hit the crap out of you when she's mad, to waggle her finger and strut her stuff..."girlfriend" ......but when need be , should you retaliate with the tiniest of slaps...she'll become planet earth most delicate and helpless little bambie deer.....fall into the fetal position in a screaming fit .....go on Oprah winfrey and cry about how she still has nightmares about this UBER-Traumatic night of the slightly red (woman would probably use some colour that sounds like food...like "rouge" )cheek ...while you await death row ...

Oh how she will tell you how she is your equal...able to do damn well anything you can......until anything needs fucking lifting....lifting is fucking kyroptonite to women.....oh how she'll pout ......

Oh how she wants damn equal rights in every aspect.....except fucking bus seats.....dustbins , changing plugs , tires ,nightclub entry fees, paying the dinner bill... etc etc...(you get the picture)

I could go on and on ....(as is my wanton way at times)..but I wont bore you...because deep down you know it yourself ......women have been fucking you around your whole life and ....what's more...having the fucking cheek to make you feel guilty about it .

In short , everything about women can be said by the way they fart......silently , dishonestly ,secretly , never taking responsibility....but with equal venom........a man takes responsibility for his fart.....he owns it ....puts it out there in it's fragrant glory...for your discerning opinion...

So now...prey fucking tell...what exactly is so god damn traumantic about being sexually harassed ?

look..I'm not talking about sexually molestation or rape...I'm talking about harassment .....

Now as I define this , it the general cat calling , innapropriate office innuendo etc etc......and without backtracking I've no doubt this can even be a little unpleasant at time.....but here's what I really wanna say .....BOO FUCKING HOO

Big fucking deal! .....As a man who has for most of my life been considered attractive I have recieved all the same type of treatment from women....and you know what my friends reactions have been ?

lucky bastard!

I've had random ,strange drunk women grab my crotch.....many , many pinch my bum , women flash me their breasts etc etc...and I' sure my experiences aren't any different from most men....and you know what ? I didn't once consider suicide ! (that only happens in strong correlation to Christina Aguilira album releases).....cry , piss or moan.....feel an Antares sized anvil was up against me .......

People are getting blown up in Iraq for oil and weapon contracts and you want me to break down in catatonic tears because your boss made some comment about your tits....??(which were probably almost exploding from your blouse anyway)...shut the fuck up !

Get over yourself....your not a fucking princess .....Daddy's a bullshitter !!...pucker up and if it bothers you so much tell him to fuck off......

Because if you dont .....what in effect you are saying is "women are emotional cripples with the adaptive ability of sea fungus ....far too weak and pathetic to be considered a mans equal"

So what's it gonna be ladies ?

You can't have your cake and fucking eat it....or god for fucking bid.....I'll be forced to lie about you being fat in those pants ..

(disclaimer : if sexual harassment against women is a travisty...but against me as a man ...it's nothing....you imply my rights are less than yours....to which I offer you the following sentiment "fuck off , thanks bye")