Wank festivals of the neurotic masses...

Whilst living in the ........er....interesting country of Thailand , I would often pop over to my home countries online newspapers , mostly for a good laugh .

In between the uplifting tales of anal buggery and sports headlines starring Crushing/Humiliating Defeat , I read about all sorts of interesting things .

For example I learned that Armageddon had struck Thailand , a veritable plague of "bird flue" was wiping out the masses . Along with pictures of women gasping for air through their face masks , metaphorically reaching out for the helping hands of the White Knights of the West .

Chicken Genocide was taking place at a level that would have made Colonel Saunders cum in his pants ! And here I was in Thailand , the centre of it all , and I'd heard nothing about it .

Now , given that , the Thai people aren't possibly the most responsible people in the world .That not EVERY SINGLE Thai airways jets crashes and burns horrible into the ground , is to me one of God's great unexplainable mysteries (like Australia).

so of course , being that kind of person who doesn't want to die (you know the type: not counting those times during Christina Aguilera album releases/phonic genocidal massacres) , I obviously decided to do a bit of research into , as I like to call it " WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?"

Soon it all blew over , and it was back to murdering chickens at a more sane level (turn in your grave colonel!) , but not before the world had gone into wide spread panic over the death of about 18 people (about 1/100th of the amount of people who had died of other types of flue those few weeks).

It wasn't long and then everyone was shitting their pants over Sars . Now if they meant the "South African Revenue Service" , sure , I'd agree , the worse thing to happen since Cancer ! But they were talking about a flue that had the strange and inexplicable way of killing the OLD AND THE ALREADY SICK . Exactly like all flue has been doing for thousands of years . Cunning .

Anyway , Sars panic came and passed , but not before George W Bush had used tax payers money to fund pharmaceutical companies with billions of dollars to provide vaccines (for a disease that killed 180 old or already sick people) in about a year .

Would you like to speculate on what kind of cut backs the politicians got from these billions of dollars investments into the glutenous pockets of the pharmaceutical companies ? What next ? Helmets ? Never know when that sky's gonna fall on your heads !

(Also worth considering is Malaria kills 1 million people in Africa every year , far more than AIDS, and this would be easily avoided with relatively tiny bit of investment.)

Now this all brings me to my point (god help us) . With this type of bullshit scaremongering going on in the world , and huge profits being made out of it . Isn't it perhaps a little likely it might have some part to play in the over exaggeration of H.I.V/Aids in some African countries ? All these "charity organizations" on the level ? All pharmaceutical companies receiving government "grants" to produce "free" anti retrovirals , have no interest in exaggerating the demand ?

Every time I see some sensationalist fucking “1 out of 5” people are dying from Aids in South Africa claim I want to murder somebody . Obviously a scourge of Crack has infiltrated the Media , cause they sure are speaking a bunch of Smug fucking shit !

Now I'm not suggesting hiv/Aids isn't a big problem . You don't need the philosophical prowess of Emmanuel Kant , or a degree in bio-chemistry to see how a killer sexually transmitted disease might be a problem in a promiscuous , non condom wearing society . WE UNDERSTAND !

But ...!

I don't know when this “1 in 5” nonsense started . It's been longer than 10 years now anyway . You would think it that time I might ..... just might , have known one SINGLE FUCKING PERSON who died of Aids .

I could bore you with studies done to show in South African jails only 1.4 % of the inmates had Aids .How statistically the chances of getting Hiv from heterosexual intercourse is seriously minuscule (but increases if you both have an std...so wear a damn Condom you idiots !!!).

What does piss me off , is they loaded all this “hyperbole” into my nervous system .Made me sure that sex would surely lead to my rapid painful death ( oral sex would probably just leave me paralyzed ) . Ensured that every sexual encounter was akin to Russian roulette and that sleeping around akin to Mass murder .

Condoms , it was implied , were only slightly effective , and sleeping around with a condom would was like heroine use .It wont kill you right away , but the reaper was already lifting his scythe and ......in time my friend.....in time .

So at that more innocent time , the only people sleeping around ,(in my mind ) were death wish heroine junkies , mass murderers , suicidal gamblers , the French , and Bill Clinton .

Anyone else who was sleeping around had given up on condoms (because they were sure they would die anyway) , and “sex” was all a bit shit really .

So what's wrong with the media's sensationalistic claims and paranoia feeding bullshit ?


............warning the following contains scenes of , narcicism ,pussiness and whinging like a little bitch ....those with a sensitive stomach should not read on...............


I don't know about anyone else , but after a drunken reckless stint of “playing” around Asia , I spent 2 years of hell , total fucking hell ! The stress of which actually made me often sick (helping to further perpetuate my fears) , thinking I obviously had picked it up .I'd even had unprotected sex after all .I was doomed , surely ? Nights of drinking to ease my fears , leading to more “mishaps” , and a whole vicious cycle started . Pushing poople who loved me away and descending into a pit of debauchery that made me the dark fucker I am today .

So eventually I did the right thing (so I could get it over with) , went for tests and I was 100% fine . I was so shocked I even went for a second opinion . Again : 100% fine . Not even a boring std to boast about .

But the damage can not be outdone .Once you have stared death in the face , and rushed through anger , fear , bargaining etc of death into the phase of acceptance.....there are no more fucking easter bunnies and pretty sunny rainbows for you my friend .

Thanks......media .


Assholes .