Doomsday devices reconsidered .

This was funny , great , excellent....until I realised the awful truth...it's actually ANTI killing Smurfs.

Now , I'm no fan of war. And I certainly would like to categorically distance myself from most acts of genocide . Most . But Smurfs ?

I'll admit I've from time to time experimented with the odd doomsday device , but my intentions were basically to decimate the entire solar system , not just ONE lame ass ethnic group or species . Nope , I'm all about equality . Always believed in equal and fair distribution to all people .....and OF ALL PEOPLE. So that should apply to their molecules too .

But if I were forced to target my nuclear talents upon one particular group of sentient beings , and one group alone , it would certainly be Smurfs .

They are blue and short . Like Paris Hilton if you cut off her legs and threw her in a freezer . Except at least Paris might be entertaining in that context . But just because they can be compared to Paris Hilton , that's not good enough reason to kill them all by its self .

but this is...


What do smurfs do with their spare time ....?



Sit around on the damn grass and play lame ass music . Not unlike...




Filthy , scummy hippies !!

...which are not unlike....





Annoying street beggar buskers......which are commonly known as ...




BUMS!


And what do bums have ? That's right..... Schpinkters !!

And which animals have cold soul-less eyes , just like Spinkters ?



You guessed it....




Stingrays....!!!


Cold hard proof ! Smurfs are exactly like stingrays!


So you see .I don't just formulate my hatred based on random racial stereotypes. I have very good reasons for hating that which I do . Stingrays and therefore Smurfs are evil . And therefore...we must kill them all . We must do it for Steve Irwin .


(Besides....I think these smurfs are German.)