9/12/2006

Look God , we're sorry about the apple .


Oh , dear mighty , mighty God. We are very sorry that Adam guy ate that apple .He was a dick , God .We like seriously hate him and stuff . Please stop the torture .

Isn't it time you got over it God ? We're all trying our best .

Sure ,some of us (The U.S)might be carrying out genocide . But Sampson did it with a goats skulls , and he was kind of your homeboy .I'm confused as fuck god .

Look big guy . You're the man .You put the POTENT in OMNIPOTENT... We are all shitting ourselves down here . Hey guys ! Isn't god awesome and great ? Oh man,. God's the best , huh guys ?

I'll give it to you , your not one to be fucked with . Couldn't you just have punished the women though ? We give them a rib ,and what do they give us ? Eternal sin and damnation . They kinda get kicks out of that kind of thing .

But they're not so bad God . They bring us steak and cold beer .We love them, God , so don't smite them all with bolts of lightning , or seriously .....strip clubs , and rap music videos would become kinda lame . Perhaps rather just take away their speech . We find this a somewhat unnecessary and redundant feature in their design , God. If only they used their mouth and throat for their intended design , and spoke less .That would kick ass , O Holy God .

But we understand , like Cancer , Herpes, and the film “Alex and Emma” ....female nagging is just another burden we have to bare , God . Praise be .

Man , you sure like apples , Oh Glorious Master .

Hey ,oh Psychotic one , it's a big universe .Why did you put that apple tree there anyway ? Just seems a little like .....your fucking with us , oh omnipotent smiter. I mean , why provide us with all this temptation ...and if we act on it.....burn in us hell ? Dude , that's kinda ...cruel . You give us all these wonderful gifts , family , love , youth, hope and then you tear them all away from us . nice one , Oh glorious terrorist .

It's a joke isn't it ?

I guess we'll all have a laugh about this one day , over a beer .

That actually makes a lot of sense . We're all part of one big cosmological practical joke .

Religion is a joke .

Yes , yes . It has a nice ring to it .

2 comments:

Bella_Freud said...

rose petals: hate them. i prefer lilies or tulips. candles: don't need them unless there is a power outage. silk sheets: prefer egyptian cotton with a 500 thread count. women have hearts: of course.they have feelings: yep.and often hurt by the male species.silver bullet/stake:this is probably the only true fact. but you can kill us by being assholes. *sigh*

The_Rooster said...

can kill you by being assholes ?

shit...move over Ted Bundy !

:P