Tucker Max

A lot of people think Tucker Max is some kind of revolutionary . A knight in shining armor fighting against a over politically correct dragon society .

Well that's one way of looking at it .

Here is another .

Tucker Max is a Cretin .

Let me get this out of the way before my brain explodes : Fuck Tucker Max .

Tucker Max , for those of you lucky enough not to know , is the world's most untalented man , masquerading as an “author” .

Let me explain : Tucker Max doesn't so much “write” , as “shit on paper” . In fact , I've seen more intellectual, interesting and profound discourse in Jake , my dog's, daily poetic brown offerings on the lawn .

Tucker Max , has carved out a bit of a niche for himself . He went to university , drank a lot , slept with girls and did mischievous things like insult fat women . Well move the fuck over Hunter S Thomson ...Hah....try keep up with that ! Viva le revolution !

Who would have thought it possible ? The idea is so profound : Young man drinks and sleeps around .Wow .I'm so impressed I'm flabbergasted .Someone bring the smelling salts !

So how can we explain Tucker's success in selling his “book” ? I would like to propose a lot of people bought it just to wipe their arses with , however that wouldn't work because tucker's book is so full of shit , it would make matters worse . So I have had to search for a new theory . And then it hit me .

Tucker's audience , (I wouldn't quite call it audience , more like “bukkake team” , because these guys worship him) are a bunch of Cretins themselves .I say this with apologies to the people of Crete . They consist of 16 year old boys , who stay up at night dreaming of one day “having sex” , American marines (who lets face it , aren't the first place Nasa recruits from when looking for rocket scientists) , and pathetic women who have confused Tucker Max for some kind of D grade celebrity , with low enough standards to actually sleep with them .

To these halfwits , sure , Tucker might seem like an man in possession of a rudimentary form of cognitive functioning . But that's because his books are the only thing they have ever read other than “hustler” and the installation manual for their “penis pump” . So when they say “Tuckers book is the best I've ever read” , what they mean is “the only book” .

Now , don't assume I have issues with tucker because of his life style .I'm not a moralist , and fuck knows I've done things and lived a life that makes Tucker Max seem like a bit of a sweet little girl . Beer ? Fuck that. I used to drink beer to recover from my cocaine hangovers (past tense). Sex with many women ? I lived in Bangkok . Nuff said . My issues with him have sweet fuck all to do with that .

Here's the bottom line .

Tucker is a Neanderthal . I'm dead serious . Tucker's fans , when not grappling with the complexities of tricky daily tasks , such as breathing , might point out his “highbrow” intellectual humor .I just see his brow .

Now , this might be nasty of me . But as a homo-sapien sapien. ..

(All tuckers fans reading this are probably sniggering to themselves , beavis and buttheadesque point out “he said “homo”.
Just for them ,here's one that will literally make you guys explode , which to be honest , is desirable . Ready? “Homo-erectus “. )

..As a Homo-Sapien , I'm simply a bit snobby .I can't help it , I just can't help but feel my ability to formulate basic conceptual thinking slightly trumps the Neanderthals equivalent ability to “fart” . That maybe , just maybe , the homo-sapien's ability to indulge and take pleasure in things that vary in more ways than merely “type of orifice” is somewhat a more desirable trait .

And that my friend describes the diversity of Tucker Max's world . Pussy , ass , tits , blowjobs and beer .

But let me not project my homo-sapien values on you . I just have the pretentious hope that there might be more to life .

But please Neaderthals . Carry on doing that , which it is you do . Bash rocks , homo-erotically wrestle and tackle each other . Be bigots . Hunt.

Someone after all , needs to take away my trash .

Now , to you “hero worshipping” types out there , who are going to always need someone to live vicariously through , because , well , you fucking suck . Let me direct your attention to someone with real talent and wit : Maddox.

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