50 cents : The Elton John of Rap

What I love about Rap , is the high brow intellectual discourse .

Nothing announces the “new age of intellectual enlightenment” quite like a man in a big fur coat , surrounding by gyrating ass .

Nothing .

Forget the angry street politics of N.W.A and the like .Rap has it's new champions , and 50 cent and the like sit on the “diamond encrusted , dosed in “dom perignon” throne .

Social issues are so , like , yesterday , and have been replaced by the revolutionary causes more closely reflecting the hubris of our time , namely : Ass and money .

Sure , some people may pine for the days when we basked in the illusion that there was more to life than mere “getting money so that you can surround yourself with more ass” . But While we were off “ranting” about our “social inequality” , “violence culture” and “cold hard capitalistic foreign policies” etc , 50 cent was “keeping it real” .

And now he has Che Guevaraesque come to show us the way . The “real” way .Blessed be .

You see , 50 has shown us the error of our ways .Exposed the rotten seeds that were at the core of our “values”. Rather than formulate a society , based on equality and personal responsibility , 50 propagates instead the revolutionary idea of “let make money , fuck and tell everyone about it” instead .

Brilliant .

It's comforting to know the kids have such high brow ideas to emulate .Society is in good hands .

Well that's one way to look at it .

Here's another .

50 cent is a Jerk .

50 cents raps about having women AND money . What a redundant waste of information .Anyone who has seen the quality of women who surround 50 cents , and then by mistake panned to the horrible mistake of nature , he has for an excuse of a face , immediately would assume he has money .

50 cents , let's face it , is butt ugly . I only say that to insult butts . I've seen Australians who are better looking than 50 cents , and it's common knowledge Australian exist merely as testament to god's sense of satirical humor .

50 cent hangs out with a group of men , who are all very body conscious , extremely interested in “ass” , wear fur coats and can dance .They call themselves the “G- unit” .

No points for guessing what the “G” stands for . It stands for GAY .

50 cents is the Elton John of the rap world .I bet he plays that festival of man love , Ice hockey .He's short too , just like the tokolosh and teenagers .

Yup 50 cents sure sucks . Sucks cock .If you use the fact that he hangs around women as evidence that he is straight , you aren't looking at how he treats the women . I suppose some people might say he has a subtle approach to picking up women , some people , like rapists.

Talking about rape .

Some people say 50 cents music is “rapping art .”

I say ....”that's one too many “p's” .