10/04/2006

More common myths about women

1)They have hearts
Well technically women do have hearts . Not so much hearts as cold , dried out , black , hollow husks , whose only purpose is to help women differentiate between those things which are shoes (subtle feelings of “like”- women are incapable of love) and those which aren't shoes(deep and utter hatred).

However , even though this may be the case , it's important we hold onto the hope that women do have hearts , or where else would we drive in the wooden stake ?



2) They only come out at night. (as explained in this article .)

Many people , when thinking about women , imagine them sacrificing a small harmless animal to boil in their big black pots , cackling away as they torture it first . No, no .In fact they creep amongst us in day too . They can be found in all those places a man wouldn't dare venture : Shoes stores , the romantic section of the video store ,and even Australia (although you'd be forgiven for not noticing )


3) Women don't make love to their shoes .

This is simply untrue .Women frequently make love to their shoes .




4)Women can be scared off with a crucifix , and even cloves of garlic .

Logically this would seem true . However , as demonstrated by the fact that women are known from time to be attracted to those half-men called Italians , it is not .Once upon a time the Italian people were a major catalyst in something called “the Enlightenment “, and later “the Renaissance “ .Two times of human history where mankind strove to transcend his animal like state , wrote poetry , asked question and obtained a semblance of dignity . Then they discovered football (soccer) .



5)Women are capable of love

In fairness this depends upon your definition of love . The common female definition of love is “those lies you tell men to get bought more shoes” . In which case women are capable of extreme and deep , deep forms of love .If however you interpret love in the male sense of deep honesty , trust and commitment to another person ,(alternatively : sex), then indeed , women posses no capacity for it . This is because women are very shallow two dimensional beings , like Cats , crack addicts and Australians..



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